by Michael Post
When I graduated high school 25 years ago I was like most graduates who had aspirations of going on to college, earning a degree, changing the world and being rewarded for it with a big house, nice cars, and lots of money! But as the case in most fantasies those visions of grandeur never materialized. Instead I found myself numbered with the masses working a full-time job, trying to maintain meaningful relationships and attending college. I was not strong enough, motivated enough, nor did I have the support at home needed to face such new expectations, responsibilities and demands. No one in my family had every earned a college degree, so in the end no one, including myself, was too disappointed or expected anything more. I dropped out after six months and kept working full-time feeling pretty optimistic about my future.
For years I never begrudged not getting a degree but rather became quite smug in my success and for a time mocked those that wasted their lives earning another diploma. It wasn’t until my career path started to narrow that I started to second-guess my apparent side step of secondary education and the experiences that went with it. Had I cheated the system or had it cheated me? Life and a more mature outlook were now challenging me to reassess my interpretation of success and what I really wanted out of life. Aspirations of money, material possessions and titles now gave way to truly valuable things like time, peace of mind and personal fulfillment.
When I decided to return to college after a 20-year absence the idea seemed ridiculous, the task almost too big to even consider. Every hopeful thought was beset by more measurable doubt and fear. The tables had truly turned and now I was the one being mocked by my own insecurities. Did I even deserve a second chance at a degree? And if so, what made me think that I could complete it this time? Because now, not only did I have still have a full-time job, but a family and a full slate of responsibilities that also demanded their due.
As funny as it may sound, the only thing that saved me from myself was remembering the 1991 comedy, “What About Bob?” which starred Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss. In the movie Murray plays Bob Wiley, a psychiatric patient who suffers from multiple debilitating phobias that is being helped by Dreyfuss’ character, Dr. Leo Marvin. The concept behind Dr. Marvin’s groundbreaking therapy is the idea of one overcoming big problems by taking ‘baby steps’ towards the solution. The movie itself is nonsensical and hilarious but for whatever reason this concept actually resonated with me as I considered my future and determined that I could ‘baby step’ my way to a degree.
The first baby step was just a phone call, then an application, then the COMPASS test, registration, my first class, my first assignment etc. Now, four years later, I’m just weeks away from being awarded an Associate Degree in History from Darton State College with my baby steps inching me towards an eventual Master of Library and Information Science from Valdosta State University. Now stronger, more motivated and surrounded by encouragers, I strive to continue to take my one baby step at a time. It may take many more years to get to where I want to be, but as long as I keep baby-stepping, I will get there and be better for it.
Michael Post is the helpdesk manager for UWG|Online.
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